outer calm. inner clash.
How confusing and disorienting I find it to experience a clash of emotions. What might one do to cope and adjust and understand? Sometimes I draw it out. But, sometimes I don’t.
The first time I tried to draw my grief was ages ago. I had just heard about my rabbi’s passing in Israel. He had added much of the spice to my religious experiences in college. His Canaan dog, the first and only one that I had ever met, sometimes hung out with us students. As did his adorable son and smart and involved wife.
Rabbi Turk had officiated at my marriage. And, he came to encourage us before our huge schlep across the puddle to settle in Israel for a time.
During that drawing attempt, a caricature of grief stared back from my sketchbook, out of sync with the frown staring back from the mirror. I dated it and closed the book. At least I had recorded the event.
My next foray into throwing strong emotions into a piece of art came a few years ago, during upheaval with a relative. I grabbed a useless ukulele, a “gift” from this person, and began a sculpture, ” Dissonance.” Splat, I slapped a quote about disappointment between the strings, on the neck. Bump, another quote about being more kind slammed onto the back. The quotes were said by sculpey people crawling around the uke. When I stopped to see my results, I had to set it aside. Too much poison.
Fortunately, these days I feel freer to draw, crochet, write out the extremes of happiness and sadness that are bubbling around in my head at night.
Not one to leave on a low note, I did a word search, “art,healing.” Here are a few articles worth noting:
Feel better every day. And, share those feelings.